Archief - Dingen die je regisseurs nooit zult horen zeggen

Het archief is een bevroren moment uit een vorige versie van dit forum, met andere regels en andere bazen. Deze posts weerspiegelen op geen enkele manier onze huidige ideeën, waarden of wereldbeelden en zijn op sommige plaatsen gecensureerd wegens ontoelaatbaar. Veel zijn in een andere tijdsgeest gemaakt, al dan niet ironisch - zoals in het ironische subforum Off-Topic - en zouden op dit moment niet meer gepost (mogen) worden. Toch bieden we dit archief nog graag aan als informatiedatabank en naslagwerk. Lees er hier meer over of start een gesprek met anderen.

Ricky Roma

Legacy Member
"Too much like Vertigo" - Brian De Palma

"I said no smoking on the set, you're fired!"
- Jean-Luc Godard

"I want to give the audience something for their money. I want them to forget about their problems for two hours and to just have a good time at the movies." - Michael Haneke

"Let's just pretend." - Werner Herzog

"Can we have a little less CGI please?" James Cameron and Peter Jackson

"No need for a retake, that shot was perfect" - Stanley Kubrick

"It's going to have a closing narration, so nobody is left behind." - David Lynch

"Making this film was an honour and a privilege." - Alan Smithee

"Can we have less bad language please?" - Quentin Tarantino

"For Christ's sake, would you let the other actors finish their lines before you start talking?" - Robert Altman

"Ugh, that's disgusting, no way I'm filming that!" - David Cronenberg

"Let's try to get this whole scene in one shot." - Michael Bay

"So yeah, the rumors are true, i'm re-cutting Satantango for an American re-release, gonna throw in some jump cuts, less mud, cows and drunks, maybe toss in some go-go dancers, it'll be fabulous!"
- Béla Tarr

"Actually Johnny's not gonna be in my next one." - Tim Burton

"For my next film..." - Charles Laughton

"Can we try it again without the dwarf?" - David Lynch

"I would like to thank the Academy....." - Uwe Boll

"My next film is going to concern the struggle of an honest white man in America today, and the politically correct prejudices the media holds against him for his ancestors' actions centuries ago" - Spike Lee

"Mazel tov!" - Mel Gibson

"It really does look more natural in 2D." - James Cameron

"Get rid of that damn lens flare, will ya, it's making the whole film look stupid." - J.J. Abrams

"Get me that Michael Cera kid, I need something hip on this one" - Martin Scorsese

"Great job today, Shelley."
- Stanley Kubrick

"I'm thinking of ending this shot before the reel change cue." - Béla Tarr

"Somebody check the papers on these kids." - Pasolini

"I always say, put the horizon line in the middle." - John Ford

"Tracking shot? Are you out of your fucking mind? Too time consuming. Can't we just strap it to this guy's shoulders and have him run with it?" - Max Ophüls

"I told my editor, none of that gimmicky faux jump cut, suspended time rubbish. I want traditional cuts, a nice even narrative strand." - Nicholas Roeg

"Who wrote in all this flower crap? Lose the matriarchal society bullshit, in fact lose the women altogether, this is a man's film dammit." - Pedro Almodóvar

"My all time favourite movie is The Birth of a Nation" - Spike Lee

"I am sick and tired of films that do nothing but imitate 60's and 70's B movies, and then pass themselves off as 'Homages" - Quentin Tarantino

--

Keep 'em coming!

Anal_Amoebe

Legacy Member
"We just have too much time and money to make this movie" - Elke regisseur

Mephisto

Legacy Member
"I have no idea who to ask to score my next film" - Darren Aronofsky

PBR Streetgang

Legacy Member
<3 die van Laughton

A movie about eight year old superspies? Are you fucking kidding me? Ever heard of a little thing called artistic integrity? - Robert Rodriguez

Who the hell would want to see a movie that has more gay undertones than it has a story people will care for? - Gus Van Sant

Ugh... I'm sick and tired of those Rolling Stones. - Martin Scorsese

Bob McKee once advised me never to use voice over in a movie. That man's a genius I tell ya. - Terrence Malick

Where's my tripod? - Lars Von Trier

Porn is already disgusting enough. Why would one want to make a movie about it? - Paul Thomas Anderson

Thelma who? Shoemaker? Never heard of her. She sounds like a bitch, though. - Martin Scorsese

Oh my god I loooved Magnolia. - Kevin Smith

My opening credits must always be different. Otherwise, what's the point? - Woody Allen

Why? I'll tell you why. We are not rendering that sequence in slow motion because it does not make any fucking sense. At all. Pointless slo-mo pisses me off. - Zack Snyder

You know, I've always wanted to make a movie about a normal, functional family, where people dress normally and have their rooms decorated like anyone else would. - Wes Anderson

Hmm... this is too depressing for my taste. Gunnar, can you think of something funny for me? - Ingmar Bergman

I pride myself in always releasing a theatrical cut I am satisfied with. - Ridley Scott

Okay, fair enough, guys. You can have your movie back. - George Lucas

shiftyke

Legacy Member
This movie has too much explosions - Michael Bay

Doet me wat denken aan "Scenes we would like to see" uit Mock The Week

Anal_Amoebe

Legacy Member
shiftyke zei:
This movie has too much explosions - Michael Bay
Denk dat het in die zin 'too many explosions' moet zijn, maar wie weet zegt Bay het inderdaad wel zo...

"Would somebody please clear the pigeons off the set" - John Woo

shiftyke

Legacy Member
Anal_Amoebe zei:
Denk dat het in die zin 'too many explosions' moet zijn, maar wie weet zegt Bay het inderdaad wel zo...

"Would somebody please clear the pigeons off the set" - John Woo

Er komt sleet op mijn engels :doh:

JackM

Legacy Member
"Goed zo Werner De Smedt, je leefde je weer sterk in in je personage!" - Random Vlaamse regisseur

insomnia

Legacy Member
"People who alter or destroy works of art and our cultural heritage for profit or as an exercise of power are barbarians." - George Lucas

Conradus

Legacy Member
"Let's make a politically correct movie!" D.W. Griffith

"I'm tired of all these happy endings, how about a sad one? Frank Capra*


*toegegeven, ik heb nog lang niet genoeg van Capra gezien, maar na Mr Smith, Mr Deeds en It's A Wonderful Life begint dit wel wat op te valllen :p

insomnia

Legacy Member
Goh, in 1915 was Birth of a Nation niet meteen politiek incorrect geloof ik. Different times.

Blanco

Legacy Member
&#8206;"Please! For once, drop that Cockney accent!"
Guy Ritchie

insomnia

Legacy Member
"Let's have the camera move a bit more this time." - Yasujiro Ozu

"Dude, where's my stunt double?" - Buster Keaton

"This movie was a piece of cake." - Terry Gilliam

"For my next project I'm going to adapt Anne Frank's Diary to the silver screen." - Mel Gibson

"I don't think that would work, who'd want to see a film from a child's perspective in a dysfunctional family with all sorts of crazy shit going on?" - Steven Spielberg

Blanco

Legacy Member
&#8206;"NO no no, this scenario is way too complex and arti farti"

Peter Greenaway


"Koen de Bouw zou ik echt niet casten hoor..."

Erik Van Looy

TeOtWaWkI

Legacy Member
I really wish to thank Fox for all the support they gave me when i made Alien 3
David Fincher

PBR Streetgang

Legacy Member
!nsomn!a zei:
Goh, in 1915 was Birth of a Nation niet meteen politiek incorrect geloof ik. Different times.

uhm... what? Het gaat niet alleen om een bende blanke acteurs zwart schilderen, he. De inhoud van dat verhaal gaat er wel echt een pak over...


enneuh... niks had Alien 3 kunnen redden. Door en door kutfilm imo.
Het archief is een bevroren moment uit een vorige versie van dit forum, met andere regels en andere bazen. Deze posts weerspiegelen op geen enkele manier onze huidige ideeën, waarden of wereldbeelden en zijn op sommige plaatsen gecensureerd wegens ontoelaatbaar. Veel zijn in een andere tijdsgeest gemaakt, al dan niet ironisch - zoals in het ironische subforum Off-Topic - en zouden op dit moment niet meer gepost (mogen) worden. Toch bieden we dit archief nog graag aan als informatiedatabank en naslagwerk. Lees er hier meer over of start een gesprek met anderen.
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