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Cookiebear zei:ik kwam dit vandaag tegen...
http://www.humo.be/images/jeroom/large/drink.jpg
Cookiebear zei:heeft die hier al eens gestaan? of heb ik die ergens anders gelezen/gehoord![]()
Kowlier zei:gisteren gehoord.
god is er eindelijk in geslaagd zijn aarde te bevolken met zijn evenbeeld, adam en eva.
na enkele dage gaat hij toch es gaan kijken hoe ze het daar stellen.
eens op aarde bemerkt hij dat eva haar onderlijf in de zee aan het wassen is.
god, die dit ziet, reageert : "maar eva, meiske toch, wa doede gij nu? die geur ga ik nooit meer uit mijn vissen krijgen!"


Adelbert zei:
A guy goes to the pub, and says to his friend, "You won't believe what happened! I was taking a shortcut along the railway track, and I found a girl tied to the rails. I untied her, and we had sex over and over again. All the positions; everything!"
His friend replies, "That's great! Did you get a blowjob?"
"No, I couldn't find her head."
A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub.
She says "Show me it's true what they say about black men".
So he stabs her & nicks her purse.

There was a blackout in my street last night...
Everyone had to stay indoors until the police shot the cunt!

An elderly British gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane.
At the French immigration desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag.
"You have been to France before, Monsieur?" the Immigration officer asked, sarcastically.
The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously.
"Then you should know well enough to have your passport ready."
The British gentleman says, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."
"Impossible. The British always have to show their passports on arrival in France!"
The elderly gentleman gave the French Immigration Officer a long hard look.
Then he quietly explained;
"Well, the last time I was here, I came ashore on Juno Beach on D-Day in June 1944, and I couldn't find any fucking Frenchmen to show it to."

What's white on top and black on bottom?
Society
Why don't black people go on cruises?
They're not falling for that one again.

Gwiedo zei:
A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket - he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie and promised to send the driver money from home but to no avail. The cabbie said, "If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!"
So the businessman was forced to hitch to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight.
One year later the same businessman returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport, and at the end of a long line of cabs, he saw the very driver who had refused him a ride when he was down on his luck. He thought for a moment and got into the first cab in the line.
"How much for a ride to the airport?" he asked?
"Fifteen bucks," came the reply.
"And how much for you to give me a blowjob on the way?" he added.
"What? Get the hell out of my cab!!"
The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line with the same result.
When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked "How much for a ride to the airport?" The cabbie replied, "Fifteen bucks."
The businessman replied, "Okay," and off they went.
As they drove past the cabs in the long line, the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs-up sign to each driver.
What's the difference between Pope John Paul II and Madeleine McCann?
The Pope died a virgin.

What separates humans from the animals?
The mediterranean.
